DR. WAYNE DYER
LIVING THE WISDOM OF THE TAO
7- Serve the needs of others and all your own needs will be fulfilled. Through selfless action, fulfillment is attained.
33- The things I love I have to learn to leave alone.
34- By not CLAIMING greatness I achieve greatness.
36- I seek out obscurity by suppressing any desire for attention or recognition. The gentle outlasts the strong.
38- The highest kindness is to give without condition.
44- A contended man is never disappointed. So I let go of my need for more and live in a state of pure gratitude. Giving is replacing my demand for more.
52- Keeping flexible is called strength.
56- The less I care about the approval of others, the more approval I receive.
57- Stop trying to control. Let go of fixed plans or concepts.
66- Why is the ocean the king of a hundred streams? Because it lies below them. Humility gives it its power.
72- I accept myself as I am, surrendering to the natural course of my body’s destiny.
80- Paradise is wherever I am.
YOUR ERRONEOUS ZONES
- Self-worth cannot be verified by others. You are worthy because you say so. If you depend on others for your value, that is not self-worth… it is other-worth.
- New definition of love: The ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you.
- Get good at loving yourself and suddenly you’re able to love others, give to others, and do for others by giving and doing for yourself first. Thus, there are no gimmicks to your giving. You’re not doing to hear thanks or get payoffs, but out of genuine pleasure derived from helping a loved one.
- Even if you have behaved in a way you dislike, loathing yourself will only lead to immobilization and damage. Learn from the error, and resolve not to repeat it, but don’t associate it with your self-worth.
- Eliminate jealousy by recognizing it as a put-down of yourself. By comparing yourself to some other person and imagining you are loved less, you make others more important than you. You are measuring your own merit in comparison to another. Remind yourself: someone can always choose another without it being a reflection on you… and also, whether or not you are chosen is not the way you validate your own self-worth.
- Jealousy is the demand that someone love you in a certain way and you saying “it isn’t fair” when they don’t. It comes from a lack of self-confidence, because it is an other-directed activity. It allows THEIR behavior to become the cause of your emotional discomfort. People who really like themselves don’t choose jealousy or allow themselves to be distraught when someone doesn’t play fair.
- Approval-seeking is not a necessity, it’s a desire.. .and a destructive one at that. If you NEED it, you will collapse if you don’t get it.
- the need for approval is based on the assumption, “Don’t trust yourself. Check it out with someone first.”
- The lyric shouldn’t be “you are the sunshine of my life.” Its’ “I am the sunshine of my life, and having you in it makes it even brighter.”
- Break from the past. You are what you choose today, not what you’ve chosen before.
- Throughout life, the two most futile emotions are guilt for what has been done, and worry about might be done. Shine that flashlight through the fog! Guilt to the left, worry to the right. Don’t go there.
- Why be upset about things that aren’t ever going to change? Instead of choosing anger you can think of others as having a right to be different than what you’d prefer. You might not like it, but you sure don’t have to be angry about it.
- You will find an uncommon absence of approval-seeking in happy, fulfilled individuals. They are able to function without approval and applause from others. They do not seek out honors. They are usually free from the opinions of others, almost uncaring about whether someone else likes what they’ve said or done.
STAYING ON THE PATH
- The only antidote to anger is to eliminate the internal sentences “if only you were more like I am” and “if only the world were different.”
-Your suffering comes from “needing” things to be different. When you stop that, you stop your suffering. You can WANT things, but the “need” is the part that must go.
- Every moment you spend upset, angry, hurt, upset, anguished because of someone else’s behavior is a moment in which you’ve given up control of your life.
- Jealousy is a demand that someone love you a certain way and saying “it isn’t fair” when they don’t. It comes from a lack of self-confidence.
- People stop having hurt feelings when they realize those feelings can no longer be used to manipulate you.
- You leave old habits behind by saying “I release the need for this in my life.”
-Get you nose out of everyone else’s garden. Worry about your own and don’t focus on theirs.
- Self-esteem comes from the SELF, not from acquisitions or approval.
- No one can depress you, make you anxious or hurt your feelings. No one can make you anything other than what you allow inside.
- When you get inner peace and feel positive about yourself, it is impossible to be controlled or manipulated by anyone else.
- What’s over is over. You did what you knew how to do at the time. It wasn’t good or bad, right or wrong. Now, all you’ve got is today. You can’t have yesterday back.
- The more space you allow and encourage in a relationship the more it will flourish.
- If you’re suffering right now I guarantee you you’re somehow attached to how things SHOULD BE going.
- If you think the solution is outside yourself, but the problem is inside yourself, you are living an illusion. Every problem is in your own mind, thus, so is every solution.
- Most people are searching for happiness, trying to find it in someone or something outside themselves. That’s a fundamental mistake. Happiness is something that you are, and it comes from the way you think.
A SPIRITUAL SOLUTION…
- What’s done is done. Remember, the wake doesn’t drive the boat.
- People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. You can choose not to be impacted in a negative manner.
- The world is filled with people looking for reasons to be offended. Your success may be enough to trigger such a reaction in others. Keep your energy field pristine by focusing on what you know to be your divine purpose.
- Even if no one says thank you, do for others as your heart dictates from spirit, which is rooted in the faster energy of love, kindness, and connectiveness. Ego- rooted in the material world- urges you to do things so you’ll be remembered and rewarded as if life was a contest. Remind yourself to give love and do good because that is who you are.
- The old fears of failing, or enduring the disapproval of others, or not knowing how things might work out, simply don’t crop up any longer. I have replaced fear with love.
- True nobility is not about being better than anyone else—it’s about being better than you used to be.
- I am no longer dominated by my ego and its need to be right. I now spread a message of peace, grace, love, forgiveness, kindness, joy.
- Default setting: Joy and gratitude. I START there… and require no one to GET me there.
- You can become an instrument of peace in any given moment of your life by deciding you will only use your mind for peaceful thoughts. When you are an instrument of peace, you are not seeking anything; you are a peace provider. Don’t look into THEIR lives wishing they would change so YOU can become more peaceful. Rather, bring your OWN sense of calm to everyone you encounter.
- Enlightenment is the state of being immersed in and surrounded by peace. Anyone who you have authorized to remove you from that position should remind you of what it is you must do in order to become more peaceful.
- Make peace with yourself. You can’t give away what you don’t have. Secure your love and peace, then you can give it away. Decide to forgive yourself for all your weaknesses and failures… let go of self-destructive guilt over past mistakes; there was value to that dark journey.
- To transcend the cycle of attachment, we must remind ourselves what ego is trying to do: get us to buy into the thought that “I am what I have, and what others think of me.”
- It is possible to live in bliss without attachment. Love people for who they are and make no demands of them. Enjoy them without clinging to them. Do this, and despair that depends on feelings of not having what you need will be undermined and disappear.