Let me get this stuff out of the way first: Dream wife, dream son, dream house, dogs, car, job, including in the past being an NFL sideline reporter for my good friend Josh Lewin!!! I feel I have them all. So why do I battle with depression? The simple answer is, I don’t know. You lose a big game, sure it’s depressing. You break up with somebody, you’re down in the dumps. It rains when you were praying for sunshine, ok, bummer. But the type of depression I am dealing with and that so many out there face daily is maybe the most frustrating thing I’ve ever faced in my life. Because I shouldn’t be!!! I’m doing what I love and what challenges me, I have people who love me and are the bedrock of my foundation as a person. I’m not worried about where tomorrow’s meal will come from or where I’m sleeping tonight. My health is ok (could be better but that’s completely up to me and controllable). I have friends, adventures, experiences, etc. that I’m sure somebody would kill for. So why?
I don’t know. But I am tired of the “why”. I have just come to the realization it’s how I am wired. Not throwing my hands up and saying “oh well” but accepting that it’s there and it’s a challenge I have been presented with. We don’t get to pick the cards the Universe deals us, we just gotta play the hand. And part of the game for me is realization, conversation and awareness. I get professional help, and I check in with my psychiatrist and psychologist on the reg. I talk about it with family and a close circle of friends and I take medication. I’m not ashamed of it nor do I consider myself a standard bearer for the right way to handle it. I am just doing what has worked for me.
It has been the darndest thing but it’s given me such a greater appreciation for what I have and really has allowed me to cherish EVERYTHING that goes on in my life in a more positive light. The only thing I can say to anyone out there who thinks they are suffering thru it, is this: Know that many, many people who you’d never think deal with it, DO. And there’s no better feeling than taking that first step to get help and tackle this monster. Life is too short not to try and live it to its fullest and to do so with a happy heart and mind.
May the good Lord wrap his arms around you in this troubling time and assuage you of the pain you are going thru!